Metacognition: Short Story

Writing my short story took a lot of improvisation. I had specific events panned out, but not there exact moments. Even some of my most touching or important moments in the story came along as I was writing, but had not been a part prior to then. It came in a steady flow. At time,s I would have to stop and think "what direction is this going in, to what purpose, etc." I'm very happy I stopped and did that at times, because sometimes I got lost in my story.
Anyway, there was no outline on which I checked off every "story landmark, dialogue, etc." This was a rough outline by which I wrote, and I'm happy about that. The story didn't come off as mechanical (at least to me, at the moment), and the characters had voices of their own. Dialogue flowed from my fingers almost effortlessly, as nothing was pressured on the characters. Earlier on, I had to think about dialogue, I had to choreograph tension, and I had to stop to be sure what came next fit the general feel. It showed. Some parts of the original draft I am proud of, but others are, as we'd say in french "pire". Absolutely horrible. You can see that I over thought and though it was meant to be an early A+ effort, I felt the opposite was the result. With the finished version, some of those old elements are kept, and an entire scene is kept, but still almost extensively edited. There was the feel from the rest of the story that it then had to fit with, so that was the only time I stopped and thought and edited with an unfeeling scalpel.
In the end, I couldn't stop myself. Constantly playing, or rather, manipulating writing techniques new and old, trying to display the image in the best way possible, I had to finish the story, but it was going to take longer than expected. I had to do my character justice, and I had to develop his anguish, his blind ingratiation of the love he's been given, and his realization (or lack thereof) that he must make things right. Though it took 12 pages to take him through that humbly set but daringly intimate inward quest, I felt it had to be done. Granted, it always feels close to perfect at the original finish, but I certainly think that that is about the right length for his story. The end was accomplished. I believe the necessary steps to take him there were put in place and taken. I am confident, and I loved the experience.
So now, the ball is in your court, Sr. Allen.